Poor Family Values Make You Poor

Let's have a look at this assertion.

First, when "poor family values" is said, what is mostly meant is "not being married". And there is undoubtedly a high correlation here; not only in the western world but actually all over the world. The fighters in the Arab spring who risk and often give their lives for whatever they believe in, are predominantly young, unmarried men; and they don't have a job.

The question is really the direction of the causality here, and when I read that poor family values lead to people not marrying and not getting children and not having a job, I just don't think this is the way the causality runs. Ask any young unemployed man whether he would like to have a family and a nice job. He will say 'yes' to both; and he will mean it.

The problem is that you just don't get a lovely wife without a job. Because that's the way human procreation works. When boys look for girls they predominantly look for good looks. Oh, I'll get flamed for this by Spinks and others, I know. But please realize that I am not justifying it. I don't think that this is the morally correct way to act for a man. All I am saying is that this is a large part of the way it is. In fact, good looks are so extremely important for men that even still 2D images can cause men to, well, you know ..

Of course, men also like to have a smart wife who is also a best friend, and not just a sexual object. But if you look at men who have the options (very high social status) you can see that hardly anyone of them is able to stick to one wife. Biology and its evolution determines what men love and this biology is powerful. Very powerful. You just can't decide to fall in love with Misses X. If she becomes old and you have options it's just not possible for many men to still be in love. They often accept strong social and financial repercussions and disappointing their current wife, who they usually deepy care for, to be together with a 'new love'. That's how powerful biology is.

Now, there is a flip side and that is the way women work. Women don't really care all that much about good looks. Sure, partners should look healthy, but otherwise women don't really care. What they do care about is social status. That's why looking like somebody who is very successful can help and looking like a loser is a bad thing. But most importantly you need to have a job - or at least lots of money. The only exception is if you are a spiritual leader. In that case being poor is acceptable.

While men predominantly look for good looks, women predominantly look for high social status. That's why unemployed and even badly educated men can't find a wife! And since the ratio of boys:girls in the western world is roughly 1:1, for every unmarried man, there's also an unmarried woman; usually a highly educated woman with a good job. These two groups will never find together. And it's mostly due to the women. Contrary to what most women believe, a man usually accepts a wife who is more successful rather easily - especially if she looks good. It's not optimal, but it would happen much more often than that a woman would actively marry an uneducated, unemployed man while she is socially successful - this is a very rare exception. And if it happens it's often some kind mother-son relationship. There's love there, too, but they aren't really lovers.

It is said that behind every successful man there is a strong wife. And this is true in the sense that women have a strong desire for their husbands to be successful. They push their husbands because success makes them more attractive for them. Just like a husband wants his wife to stay slim - or at least not become fat - and to use some make-up, a wife wants her husband to stay - or at least become - successful. It allows her to love him more. This is one big problem when working men retire. Usually the wives tell them to 'do something'. And the husbands don't understand why. They argue that they have enough money and that they enjoy doing little or even nothing. Of course, that's completely besides the point. A man who does nothing is not attractive. And there's nothing a woman can do about this, her, sentiment.

Some time ago there was a study that found that married men work harder than unmarried men; they spend more hours at work! Even if they have children! At this point this shouldn't surprise you.

So, after a long wall of text: 99% of the men alive would like a beautiful wife, many children and a nice job. This applies even if they would like to have additional lovers. If these men have no wife then predominantly because they don't have a job, not the other way round.